Why I've Never Been Able To Write a Hit Song

Catherine Roth writes:

> this post is actually about what song is in my head. it is 
> "da doo ron ron."  it is slowly driving me mad, so tomorrow 
> i will go out to buy a weapon with which to end my pain.

Actually, I wrote that song originally, but my verbosity got the better of me, and it just never received much attention until some other usurping twerp rerecorded a shorter version of it. It really goes like this:

I met him on a monday and my heart stood still, Da do ron ron ron, da do ron ron. Fortunately for me, he had the presence of mind to shout to a passer-by to call 911 in a most authoratative tone, and then proceeded to administer textbook-perfect cpr until the paramedics came. He rode in the ambulence with me to the hospital, and even stayed in the room with the doctors while they administered electric shocks to start my heart again, and when I came around, but was woozy and dazed, he went to the pharmacy for me and got me my perscription of nitro-glycerin, and rented a wheel-chair from the hospital with his own money with which to wheel me home. That's when I looked at him, no, I mean really looked at him for the first time. It wasn't love at first sight, nothing so childish, but a deeper, more abiding love, the kind of love that could only come from the knowledge that I could indeed trust this man with my very life, for I just had. Yeah, he caught my eye, Ohwoh, my oh my. Oh, and when he walked me home, Da do ron ron ron, da do ron ronnnnn...